“Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days” – B. Franklin

With the holiday season well under way, I thought it might be helpful to point out a few etiquette rules. Given the multiple gatherings and holiday parties taking place over the course of the next few weeks who couldn’t use a refresher on Season’s Greetings Etiquette?

Obviously, respect and courtesy are vital year-round, but they are especially important during this time of year. Click here for Ms. Emily Post's top etiquette tips.

Vivian’s Top 5 Tips for Guests:

1. Gift for the Host(s): Who doesn’t love a surprise gifty?! A small gift is just your way of saying ‘thank you for inviting me’ and showing your host(s) you appreciate them. Following are a few gift ideas:

• Chocolates: Luxury chocolate maker Godiva is recognizing the strapped wallets of shoppers this holiday season. They have a new line of candies called “gems” selling for $10 in Godiva retail locations. In the words of Rachel Ray… YUM-O!

• Magazine Subscription: Through Dec. 12, Amazon is offering yearly subscriptions to the following magazines for only $5! I KNOW!!! Can you believe it? We are talking $.42 an issue people!!!! Magazines include: Cosmopolitan, Country Living, Esquire, Good Housekeeping, Harper's Bazaar, House Beautiful, Marie Claire, Popular Mechanics, Redbook, Seventeen, SmartMoney, Town & Country and Veranda. Buy a subscription to be sent to your host and they'll think of you all year long.

• Wine charms: These are great because they can be used immediately! Check out http://www.wineglasscharms.com/.

• Bottle of Wine: The old standby but for a new twist, attach a personal note to the bottle. Often times so many bottles of wine are brought to parties, the host isn’t able to figure out who brought what. If the bottle doesn’t get opened at the party, with your note - “Happy Holidays! Love, Jennifer” when the host goes to open it, he/she will think of you!

2. Pitch in. Instead of asking how you can help, take the initiative to volunteer to do a specific job like loading the dishwasher. The flip side of this? If you offer to help and the host firmly declines, definitely back off. Don’t be offended, some people have their own ways of cleaning up or really don't want guests in their kitchen.

3. Deflect Rudeness: At family get-togethers, don't let nosy questions upset you. Just changing the topic: "You're right, I was dating someone this time last year, but it didn’t work out… How 'bout those Giants?"

4. Traveling as a guest? The rule of thumb: Three nights is usually plenty. My friend Heather kindly reminded me of the quote by Benjamin Franklin “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days”. Do your hosts a favor and spell out arrival and departure dates/times in advance so they aren't left guessing.

5. Be grateful: Seems obvious I know, but it’s always important to thank the host or personal responsible for the planning and coordinating the event. You can thank them as you are leaving or send a thank-you note (or email) within 48 hours. You probably don’t need to send a letter for the last minute BYOB get together, but it is appropriate to send a note to the host who spent time and energy putting together the party. Do consider sending a thank-you note to top management for the holiday party.

Despite the trend, don’t stress this season. Happy planning and party attending!

Best,
Vivian